I'm feeling incredibly anxious tonight. It's the kind of anxiety that makes me want to get up and pace. Like I need to move, and maybe if I move fast enough or long enough, my anxiety will get tired of following me and go away.

I did ok today. I didn't eat anything until the Mr. wanted to make homemade broccoli cheddar soup. Which turned out so good that I ate more than I intended to (385). And I ate some toast (245). And then I felt horrible (total: 630). So I worked out really hard tonight, and afterwards I felt a little less bloated and fat.

But now. Now I feel like shit. I'm almost tempted to get back on the treadmill and try to walk it off.

I think I need to go back to eating a couple really small meals during the day. This whole fasting until dinner thing isn't work out so great. Because then I end up not having any self-control. The only problem is that I usually make dinner for the Mr. and me (not because of any stupid stereotypes mind you, haha! I really love to cook!), and so he obviously notices if I don't make or eat anything. Ugh. Maybe I should just start cooking things I hate.

I hate feeling like this. A twisted mass of panic and frustration and self-loathing and misery. I hate it.