Less than a week before my assessment appointment at the ED Treatment Center.
I've realized that the closer I get to the appointment, the less I eat.
Yesterday's intake? 50 calories worth of Special K Protein Plus, a few roasted vegetables, and a beer.
I would by lying if I said I hadn't been planning on fasting yesterday. I didn't eat anything until dinner. And I only ate the Special K because we were going out for a friend's birthday. Which is where the beer and roasted vegetables came in.
The Mr. wasn't very happy to learn I'd skipped lunch.
I brought a lunch to work today. Cherry tomatoes and 1/2 cup of fat free cottage cheese. The thought of eating it makes my stomach flip upside down.
We went out to a bar and grill the last night of my parents' visit. I ordered a burger because I wanted to look normal. I ate about 1/4 of it. And then I felt sick. And panicky.
The next day the scale said 114 lbs.
And I freaked out.
Today I'm back down to 112.6 lbs.
Five days.
I just want to hit my goal weight before then. Maybe then I'll feel better about this. Maybe then I'll be ok.
Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
It's strange how our minds work. The closer we get to getting help, the quicker we fall. It's like racing against time, trying to reach your goal weight before treatment.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the assessment next week. I hope it goes well for you <3 xx
Thanks Bella! I've really appreciated all your encouraging words lately. It's so nice to know that there's people out there who totally understand what I'm going through.
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