september looms

My mother has been sending me gift cards to the grocery store.

My mother.

Usually I understand her games, but this one has left me baffled.

Last week she called my slender little sister and told her to stop eating pasta and fruit. Yesterday I received the 2nd $50 gift card she's sent in a month.

I haven't seen my mother since Thanksgiving. Part of me is terrified that she thinks I am skinnier than I actually am, and that when she sees me in September she'll be...

What?

Disappointed?

I don't know why I care. I shouldn't care. I don't care.

Yet still September looms.