lost

"Why aren't you eating meat? Are you a vegetarian now?"

The question is directed to my best friend's 13 year old cousin. She blinks up at her uncle, the questioner, eyes slightly panicked. Her plate contains a slice of lettuce, a slice of tomato, and a piece of cheese. There is a pause. A small one. It goes unnoticed by the others.

It screams a million words to me.

"I just don't feel like eating meat today." She finally says, shrugging casually.

She says the same thing the next day. And the next.

I know the truth.

I watch her, slender and young. I see the way her eyes cut sideways, the way she chews her lip uncertainly. I see her checking labels. I hear the unspoken pain behind the things she says. The same words that keep spilling out of her mouth because she can't help herself. I know the path she's started down. I see the edge she's flirting with.

I stay silent.

I am 26 years, 6 months, and 22 days old.

I am lost too.